First things first. You are unique. But that doesn’t mean you’re alone That bears repeating. You are not alone but you are unique. Your life’s journey isn’t going to be identical to anyone else’s. Not mine. Not your neighbors. Not you favorite celebrity, guru, or even beloved family member. That’s okay. In fact, that’s good. I hope hearing that gives you some measure of relief to that tingling sensation in the back of your mind that you don’t want to follow the prescribed path laid out for you or that secret desire to break out the “mold” you’ve felt pressed into for far too long.
One of the greatest challenges I, you or anyone may face in this fast paced, info overloaded, overscheduled, hyper-structured & constantly connected via techno-tethers is to take the time to truly explore what make you the individual. The truly unique and spectacular creation that you are. It can and often takes work, some time and patience with yourself and the process to do. It is not for the faint of heart, as they say. Not everything you learn about yourself is all cupcakes, puppies, and rainbows. I have been there. So have many other before. So will others in the future. You are not alone.
The next challenge is to embrace the #Quirktastic self that you find thru you’re your inner exploration. That isn’t always easy either. You should take the time to acknowledge the guts it takes for you to even be considering giving it a try. So, you’ve explored and embraced. Now what?
Well, you are going to have actually stop, listening to yourself. Say what? Ok, so not completely. Specifically, the little niggling voice that tends to use the word “should” a lot. You know you’ve heard it. “You should do…” You should feel…” You should want…” As wise woman once said to me “The problem with women today is they ‘should’ all over themselves.” I can still hear her voice in my head as I write this. Shout out to Ms. Collins, wherever you may be! It is still one of the best things someone has ever said to me. I love the advice so much that I think bears repeating. “QUIT ‘SHOULDIN’ ON YOURSELF”.
I know, I know easy for me to say. No so easy to do. Like most bad habits it’s tough to break. That voice has had a lifetime of practice and plenty of fertile ground in which to take root. You should know that internal “chatter” as it is most commonly known, is almost universal. So, in that you are most certainly not alone. I’m not suggestion that you turn off your brain. What I am saying is that it may time to do that thing that all of our parents never let us do. Talk back to that voice and tell it to shut the hell up. Is it telling you should want to stay want to be a stay home mom rather a working mom? Or perhaps the opposite is it telling you that loving staying home with those little humans is not what you should find fulfilling at this stage of your life. Tell it to. “Shut the hell up” You want to learn to tap dance at 60 or start a puck band at 45 and it says you should stay at home before you make a fool of yourself. You got,” shut the hell UP!” Maybe, it’s a bit more serious. It could be telling you that You should let that hurtful comment go unanswered or that you let disrespect of your person go unabated just to keep the peace. Hands up people pleasers. Sometimes, that voice NEEDS to be ignored so we finally put ourselves first.
It is important to note like any habit you won’t win every battle against the ‘mighty voice of should’. But the good news is you can get back up. I found out that you can surround your self with a “Quit Shouldin’” support team. Worth their weight in gold. We all need a bit of a boost of confidence now ant then to fend of that voice. A support team that understands and empathizes can truly help. I have a great team, myself. When I am feeling a bit weak and beat up by expectations that are really my own, they are always willing to step into the fray and tell me “Quit shouldin’, lady”.
So, just to sum up. We all have that damn voice bugging, at least a little. But you don’t have to listen to it anymore. You can quiet it. You can ignore it. You can tell to close its mouth, because you don’t want to hear it anymore. You are unique, but you are not alone. Embrace it, “Quit shouldin’ all over yourself”. You deserve better.
Thrive Laterally, Live Wyldy & Stay Quirktastsik for Lyfe